The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round

I had dinner last night in Chelsea with a friend. We went to Salsa y Salsa, just short of a hole in the wall with surprisingly good food. I took the bus home. Lately I have found myself taking the bus more and more over the subway. I like looking out the windows.

I took the 23rd Street crosstown to the 3rd Avenue bus. Once on the 101 going up 3rd I settled in reading my New York Magazine up near the front of the bus. At 34th Street a group got on, and I looked up when I heard one of them mumble as he walked to the back, "Is this the bus to Europe? Boy, it sure is warm on this bus." Did I hear that right? Europe??? Ah, no dude, this is only going to get you to Harlem, sorry. I went back to my magazine.

Somewhere around 55th Street I realize the man sitting across the aisle and up one seat is talking. It's the Mumbling Guy. He's about 60, dressed ok, and reading the New York Times. Not your typical crazy person. He keeps talking about how hot it is. He says, "Maybe I should undress it's so hot in here," while he unbuttoned his top shirt button. Then he went back to his paper, continuously spitting out comments while he read. Alrightly then.

There was a gentleman in a suit on his cell phone next to Mumbling Guy. Across from them (and in front of me) were two old women. I continue reading when I hear a HUGE sneeze and it pulls my head up from my magazine. I couldn't tell who did it. But I noticed one of the old women is now standing up by the driver, in front of the white line. The driver tells her to please move back because he can't move the bus with her in front of the white line. She says she isn't getting off the bus yet but she hasn't moved back. She says she's trying to get out of the way of the germs. Sigh. It's crazy night on the 101.

During this, Mumbling Guy gets up and speaks to the driver. He is asking the driver to turn on a fan. The driver says either the heat is on or off, or the AC is on or off; there isn't an in between. Mumbling Guy returns to his seat mopping his head (though there is no sweat).We continue to sit at a green light because the old woman is STILL in front of the white line. The driver FINALLY get her to move back and we continue on our way. But she doesn't sit down in her seat, she stands. She says, "I see you looking at me." Pause. "Would you please cover your mouth when you sneeze?" She's speaking to the guy still on his cell phone who won't make eye contact with her even though the old woman is just a staring at him smiling. She finally sits down, only to pop back up because we have reached her stop.

The remaining old woman starts talking to the driver about how strange she was. All I could think of was that Standing Woman had a point--don't sneeze or otherwise on a bus without covering your mouth. It is just gross.

Not too long after that it was my stop. Mumbling Guy was still chatting away with himself. Wonder where he got off? He's probably still talking.